Just one of those nights. Nothing wrong, really, just invariably being abroad like I am there are moments like this one. Missing the family I’ve barely seen, missing the father I can no longer see. It is hard. I rely on external things to fill voids. I rely on other people. I shouldn’t do that, I am too old for pity, and I would like to think too smart to continue to live in a stasis. The people in my life now shouldn’t have to pick up the pieces. I’ve lost things, people, that I’d taken for granted. I take solace in the fact that loosing them taught me to appreciate what I have now. Until now, I’ve made a hash of it. No more, though, if I can help it.
The photo, is from Newfoundland in 2013.
We had just visited my father’s grave.